Update

So I’ve been home for about a week now.

It hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been easy for anyone lately.

Unfortunately, the decision making process involved in coming home was long and trying, hence my significant break from blogging.  If I can, I prefer to avoid talking about it, because if I don’t talk about it then I don’t think about it and if I don’t think about it then I don’t have to be sad about it.  But I’ve stalled long enough...

About three weeks back we received our first email, the generic one.

First email from Loyola

The email continues on, but I’m sure you get the gist of it—they wanted us home.  All things considered, the time this email was sent out, New Zealand was the safest place for us to be.  Between discussions with my parents, the other Loyola students, and our study abroad advisors, we came to conclusion, it was in our best interest to stay.

Honestly, as serious as things were and as fast as they were progressing, this email did not change much for us.  Then, less than a week later, we received this email:

First email from our advisor

Unlike the first email, this one came from our study abroad advisor and was directed at us specifically.  Events in the world were rapidly changing and no one knew what to do anymore.  Before we had all seemed so confident in our choice and once again it was being questioned.

Even with all the uncertainty, our first instinct was not to come home and many of our parents felt the same way.  As a matter of fact, later that day our parents and study abroad advisor had a conference call discussing the current situation as we mulled it over ourselves.  As crazy as it sounds with where we stand now, a large majority of the group was still set on staying after this email. 

Trying to carry on as usual amidst all this chaos, we ended up going away for the weekend and for a moment we managed to escape all the stress this constant uncertainty was causing us.  For about two weeks we were bombarded with emails, messages, and meetings about what we should do, but at the end of the day, unlike other universities, Loyola was not technically forcing us to do anything.  The choice was always ours, or so we thought.

A fitting board game my friend Lara found in preparation for quarantine 

By the end of the weekend, the coronavirus had spread in New Zealand.  The numbers were stable at first, but as much as they were trying to contain it, the spread was inevitable with international travelers not taking the self-quarantine seriously.  For a while, there was no community spread, but once enough people coming from outside countries brought the disease in, cases started doubling overnight.  With all this going on, it is comforting to know the Prime Minister took action much quicker than other countries (the initiative she took with trying to control this as soon as possible is one of the many reasons we were drawn towards staying actually).  However, at about 100 cases, the country went into lockdown and this is where everything changed. 

As much as we were fighting to stay, the emails and concerns only continued to pile up.  The two emails I shared above only scratch the surface of what flooded our inboxes.  Each morning we woke up in fear of another email making us question a decision we made time and time again.  While we know it was in our best interest and we should appreciate how we were given the decision to stay or not, there is part of me that wishes we were sent home and saved all these long days of stress and fear of making the wrong choice.  

After entering lockdown, it became clear we could very well be stuck in New Zealand for an indefinite period of time and that may not have been the worst thing but we would have been quarantined just like everyone else.  There were many factors, of course, but not knowing when we could get home and being so far from home in a time of complete uncertainty started to wear on us.  It was not getting better, at least not any time soon and essentially we would be left completely on our own if we decided to stay.  All responsibility of us would be relinquished and that’s where my parents started to become concerned.

Now this was just the beginning of it all.  Once we decided we should leave, we still had to find a means to get home and trust me, by the point they convinced us to go, it was not easy.  After our decision was made, a week of booking, cancelling, and rescheduling flights ensued.  Essentially, we were preparing to enter a warzone with all the airports we would have to travel through and there is certainly plenty more to come on that.

But for now stay safe and stay healthy; one way or another we will get through this.